


747

by withdiamonds



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2002-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withdiamonds/pseuds/withdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair after a case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	747

“You jumped off a helicopter, onto a plane. A moving plane. A plane that was trying to take off.” Blair shook his head, as if trying to wrap his brain around the concept. There was something akin to awe in his voice, but Jim wasn’t fooled. The awe only masked his anger, covering it up in front of Simon and Cassie, holding it in check until it could be safely unleashed. But safety was relative, an illusion that carried them through their days and nights, enabling them to maintain control. Jim knew he wasn’t the least bit safe. Not from what he saw in his lover’s eyes, not by a long shot. Since they had accepted the obvious, inevitable truth of their relationship, neither of them was entirely safe from the hurt they could cause each other.

Jim may not have been fooled by Blair’s composure, but Simon was. He leaned against Jim’s truck, smoking a cigar and waiting for the endless procedures and processing to wind down. He had decided to come out to Pine Crest with the State Police to help them wrap things up. “Don’t encourage him, Sandburg,” he said. “God only knows what he’ll jump off of next.”

“Probably a fucking 747.” Blair’s smooth façade slipped for an instant, and Simon frowned. Blair smiled coolly up at him and said, without sparing a glance for his partner, “You ready to go, Jim?”

“What’s the big rush, Chief?” Jim growled, but then nodded his assent. Blair just stood there, waiting for Simon to heave himself away from the truck.

“Okay, okay, Sandburg. Hold your horses,” Simon said as he shot a puzzled look at Blair. He obviously felt an undercurrent of emotion from him that he didn’t quite recognize. That‘s okay, sir, thought Jim. You really don’t want to know. He was seriously considering offering Simon a ride back in his truck, cigar smoke and all, to avoid what promised to be a very long ride home with his seething partner.

“Jim.” Blair’s voice was flat, devoid of emotion. He jerked his head at the truck.

“Relax, Sandburg,” Jim snapped. “Don’t get your shorts in a wad.” Blair’s lips tightened with displeasure, but he kept quiet.

“I’ll see you fellas in the morning, Jim,” Simon said. “Good work.” Blair’s eyes narrowed at that.

Jim got in the truck, started the engine, and waited for Blair to get settled in the passenger seat. Once Sandburg had his seatbelt on, Jim started the truck and pulled out of the airstrip, turning on the radio, letting Blair know he was in no mood for a lecture. He noticed that Simon managed to snag a ride back to Cascade in Wells’s fancy Rolling Fortress of Forensics. Amused, he turned to share the observation with his partner, and encountered a look that made him reconsider, and just keep his mouth shut.

Thirty minutes of relative peace later, Jim congratulated himself, hoping that Blair had decided that the aviational aerobatics were completely justified after all, which of course they were. Jim had no doubts about that in his own mind. Sandburg’s mind, however, was a different place entirely.

Blair snapped the radio off with a suddenness that startled Jim out of his complacency. He tensed his hands on the wheel, waiting. “So, do you want to tell me just exactly what the hell you were thinking?” This was said quietly, dangerously.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Sandburg. I was doing my job. That’s all.” Jim fumed while trees and telephone poles flew past the windows of the truck. “What the hell else was I supposed to do? Just let the plane take off?”

That was a mistake. Jim knew it the instant the words were out of his mouth. Blair probably had a list of possible options a mile long, and would spend the entire trip back to Cascade enumerating them. If Jim was lucky, that’s all Sandburg would do. Maybe Jim should just let him rant about choices and free will and common sense for the whole drive, and he would be out of steam by the time they arrived back at the loft. Then they could have a beer, eat dinner, and maybe watch a little TV.

But Blair surprised him. After a short period of silence, he turned the radio back on. Jim shot him a quick, sideways glance. Blair caught him at it, and Jim stared, waiting, as fascinated as a cobra watching a fakir play the flute. Blair stared back, and then nodded his head at the road in front of them. Jim dragged his attention back to his driving, but his hopes for a nice peaceful evening had withered on the vine.

They entered the city at the start of rush hour, and Jim found himself more tense than usual at the traffic. “Asshole,” he muttered under his breath at the guy in the gray minivan who puttered along in front of him, making him miss several stoplights by just a few seconds. He might not be in a hurry to get back to the loft and face The Wrath of Sandburg, but he sure as hell didn’t want to sit in traffic all night. “What the fuck is his problem?”

“I could ask you the same question, Jim,” Blair said conversationally. “What the fuck is your problem? At least this guy doesn’t seem to have a fucking death wish.” Blair’s voice was low, controlled. Jim decided he had nothing to lose, he may as well jump in with both feet.

“I don’t have a problem, Chief. Do you?” He finally passed the minivan, glaring at the driver as he did.

“Yeah, Jim, I have a problem. I have a problem with you being so fucking egotistical that you think only you can save the world, that everything will be okay if you can just find some moving object, preferably airborne, to jump off of. In this case, two flying objects.” Blair’s voice was still controlled, but only just, and Jim decided he’d better get them back to the loft. The truck wasn’t really the place for where this discussion was headed.

But Blair apparently had other ideas. “Pull down there.” He pointed to a side street off to the right of the main drag they were on.

“For God’s sake, Chief, we’re almost home. What do you want to go down there for?”

“Turn. Now.” Blair’s voice was implacable. Jim sighed and pulled into the right lane, then turned the truck down the side street. There was less traffic along here, and they were still headed in the general direction of the loft, so this was actually an improvement. Until Blair said, in that same hard voice, “Pull over.” He pointed to a small parking lot, empty of most of the cars that parked there during the work day, and said, “Right there.”

Jim maneuvered the truck into a spot and turned the engine off. “What are we doing here, Sandburg?” He didn’t quite succeed in masking his irritation. It had been a long day, and he just wanted to go home.

Blair sat very still for a moment, gathering himself, like a diver, taking deep breaths, psyching himself up before plunging off the 10 meter board. Then he turned to look at Jim. His eyes glittered, their dark depths full of fury. But behind that, Jim saw bewilderment and fear. The first words out of Blair’s mouth were quiet, surprising Jim with their pain. “Why do you do that to me?”

“Jesus, Sandburg,” Jim growled. “I didn’t do anything to you.” But he had, and he knew it. It wasn’t like he’d had a choice, though. That’s the part Blair needed to understand. He didn’t have a choice. It was his job to do these things. It was his job, and he couldn’t do his job halfway. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice, Jim.” Okay, so here comes the lecture on free will and finding other ways to accomplish goals and the whole concept behind backup. And it almost did come, Blair hovered on the verge of it, Jim could tell, but he stopped him with the touch of his index finger on Blair’s lips. He just held it there, looking at Blair, trying to apologize with his eyes, but it wasn’t enough. Not right now, not this time.

Blair’s eyes softened for a moment, but then the softness disappeared, leaving only anger behind. He moved away from Jim and looked straight ahead, shoulders rigid. “Let’s go.”

 

*

 

The slamming of the door reverberated through the air, filling Jim’s ears, transmitting along the small bones, lodging in the fluid of his inner ear, setting him off-balance. Blair wanted him off-balance, or he wouldn’t have slammed the door. Blair almost never lost control that way, his seeming impulsiveness just surface noise, camouflaging his need to know everything, to control what he could. People thought Jim was a control freak, but he had met his match in Blair Sandburg.

Jim hung his jacket up, carefully placed his keys in the basket, and turned to his partner. “We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“Shut up.” Jim felt his jaw muscles contract at Blair’s words. They obviously were going to do this. Okay.

“Tell me again what you were thinking. No, no, don’t bother. I’ll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking, he’s not really going to do that, is he? Jump onto a moving plane from a flying helicopter? But you were. You did. And I just stood there, I couldn’t fucking believe it, but you did.” Blair’s voice rose as his words picked up speed, louder and faster and harder, and Jim wondered what would happen at the climax of this speech, when it couldn’t get any louder or faster.

Blair moved closer, almost in his face. “You are not invincible. You have heightened senses, those are the only super powers you have. They don’t afford you any added protection from fucking gravity. From the goddamn laws of physics. You stupid fuck.” That last was said with such desperation, such pain and longing, that Jim’s heart twisted.

“Back off, Sandburg.” Jim meant it as a warning, but it came out as a plea. Shit. “Just back off.” He managed to make it stronger that time, and Blair’s eyes narrowed.

“Excuse me? Back off? I don’t think so, Jim.” And Blair was even closer now, they were only inches away from each other. Jim thought about closing that gap, but in reality, the distance was too great. It was caused by fear and could only be bridged with anger now. That wasn’t what he wanted.

What did he want? He wanted Blair to stop yelling at him, to stop being so mad at him. Then maybe they could cross the chasm that was between them. “Don’t you get it, Chief? It just…needed to be done. There was no one else to do it. I couldn’t just let it happen.” He was entreating now, asking Blair to understand.

“I know you think so, Jim.” There was a slight lessening of the tension in Blair’s stance, a slight shifting of his body, that let Jim know Sandburg was losing some of his edge. But his voice was still hard, and Jim knew they had a long way to go yet.

“Blair, sometimes things, circumstances, just come up that need to be handled.” There, that sounded reasonable enough.

“Sometimes? Try all the damn time. Every time this happens, you act like it’s no big deal for someone to jump off of, dangle from, or leap onto moving conveyances. Well, news flash, Ellison, it is a big deal. Normal people don’t go around doing that sort of thing on a daily basis.” The tension was back full bore.

“Normal people, Chief?” This was a diversionary tactic at best.

“Don’t twist it, man. That’s not the point and it’s not gonna help you here.” Blair leaned against the dining room table, looking deceptively calm. Jim stood and watched him. Suddenly Blair straightened up and fixed Jim with a glare.

“Come over here.”

Jim debated with himself, thought about not moving, just to see what Blair would do. Then he decided it was time to end the talking. It was time to get on with things.

He stood in front of Blair and tried a tentative smile. No, Blair wasn’t ready for that yet. Jim gently put his hands on tense shoulders, softly caressing. Blair shivered and looked up at Jim, still serious and unsmiling. “If you ever do something like that again, Jim, so help me…”

He didn’t finish the sentence. Jim knew he couldn’t. What weapons did he have against this sort of thing? Nothing. There was nothing he could threaten that would change anything. The only threat that had the power to touch Jim was the threat to leave, and Jim knew Blair couldn’t do that. Not anymore. That was why he got so angry whenever things like this happened. And they did seem to happen with alarming frequency, Jim had to admit.

“I know, Chief. I know.” And Jim slowly lowered his head, hoping Blair was ready now, waiting to make sure. His lips brushed against Blair’s, lightly, still waiting. Blair closed his eyes, completely still, not even breathing. Jim’s mouth moved over his, still feather-light, and he licked Blair’s lower lip. Abruptly, Blair took a breath, then took control of the kiss. His hand went to the back of Jim’s neck, pulling his head down firmly, keeping it where he wanted it. His lips were unyielding, he pushed his tongue into Jim’s mouth, tasting everywhere, then grasped Jim’s lip with his teeth, biting it, almost causing pain. He finally let go, and opened his eyes. Jim saw desire warring with the anger still blazing in his eyes. His heartbeat quickened and he felt his cock twitch at that flare of anger.

“Let’s go,” Blair said roughly. He put his hands in the center of Jim’s chest and shoved. Jim resisted, knowing that made it better for Blair, enabled him to get more of what he needed from this. Blair pushed again, this time with greater strength. Jim stumbled backwards a little, grabbing at the back of a chair to keep his balance.

“Sandburg,” Jim started.

“Just shut up, Jim,” Blair said, his tone almost pleasant. Wisely, Jim had nothing to say to that. Blair watched him for a moment, making sure, then pushed him again, away from the table and towards the support beam in the kitchen. He backed Jim up against it, gripping his shoulders, reaching up and kissing him again, roughly. The back of Jim’s head hit the wood, and as Blair pressed his shoulders back, the beam dug into his spine. Blair thrust his hips forward, and he was hard. Jim wanted to do something, but he knew better. Not when Blair was like this. He had to be still for Blair, let Blair do what he needed, let him deal with his fear.

But Jim couldn’t quite prevent himself from thrusting back, his own hardness meeting Blair’s. Blair pulled away abruptly. “No.”

Jim looked down into those eyes, still glinting with anger. Jim accepted that, knew the anger would eventually refocus itself, away from Jim and towards the situation, towards circumstances which made his actions necessary. “Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.

Jim’s acceptance spurred Blair to action. He gripped the front of Jim’s shirt and hauled him away from the support beam and towards the stairs. Jim almost lost his footing on the second step, but Blair kept him going, propelling him upwards. Jim smiled a little. Blair always kept him going.

As they reached the top, Blair’s hand still fisted in his shirt, Jim found himself spun around and shoved from behind, and he landed face down on the bed. Blair was on top of him in an instant, pressing him into the mattress, snaking a hand underneath him to unfasten his pants. Jim felt his shirt being pushed up, bunched under his armpits, and Blair kissed his way up Jim’s back, licking each vertebrae, pausing at his shoulder to bite down, gently at first, flicking the skin with his tongue, then harder. He pulled away and kissed the bite softly, then nuzzled at the back of Jim’s neck. Jim started at a sudden bite to his earlobe, quick, sharp pain, then light kisses right below his ear.

Without warning, Blair grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. Blair licked the side of Jim’s jaw, then bit down again. Jim tried to turn his head for a kiss, but Blair wouldn’t let him.

Abruptly Blair let go and moved away, feathering his fingertips down Jim’s sides, following his ribs, reaching under Jim and pinching his nipples. Jim shuddered with the alternating sensations, waiting for whatever Blair did next. More delicate kisses covered his back, then with surprising speed, Blair pulled down his pants, followed by his boxers. Cool air and Blair’s warm tongue touched his ass at the same time, making him quiver in anticipation.

Then Blair was gone, but before Jim had time to protest, he felt his shoes being removed, then his pants were gone, too. Blair kissed the backs of his knees, first one and then the other. Light, airy kisses, then he roughly shoved Jim’s legs apart and bit the inside of his thigh, hard. Jim hissed in surprise more than pain, but Blair had already moved on.

Blair grasped Jim’s ass, parting his cheeks with blunt fingers, exposing his center to warm breath. Jim struggled to hold still, to not thrust back into that delicious heat. He would lose Blair’s touch if he did. After what seemed like forever, Blair’s tongue finally flicked over his opening, sending a jolt of pure lust through him. God, he loved this. Loved Blair. He was filled with remorse for making Blair so afraid, and when Blair tuned his head and bit down on Jim’s ass, it surprised a groan from deep within him. Then Blair’s tongue was back, fiercely plunging into him, trying to breach the ring of muscle guarding Jim’s entrance. Jim groaned again and this time, he did thrust back into Blair’s face, wanting Blair inside him. He was rewarded with another nip on his butt, then Blair sucked at the bite, making Jim rock forward, rubbing his cock frantically on the comforter beneath him. It was a mistake.

“I said no.” And Blair was gone again, and Jim was instantly cold, bereft of the touch he needed more than he usually liked to admit.

“Blair, please. I’m sorry.” There was no answer, and Jim started to turn over, to look for Blair.

The answer came from behind him. “No.” He heard Blair fumble under the pillow, and he sagged in relief. Then Blair was back, swiftly ramming one, then two lubed fingers in his ass, forcing a grunt from him. The fingers twisted deep inside him, opening him without ceremony. Then they were quickly withdrawn, but before he had time to take a breath, Blair’s cock was there, pushing inside, owning him.

Blair fucked him roughly, riding him into the mattress, breathing hard with effort. Jim pushed back, got his knees under him, and Blair reached around for his cock. Each thrust drove Jim forward into Blair’s tight fist, and Jim grabbed the pillow beside him and pulled it to him. He buried his face in it, muffling the sounds he made. Again, Blair said, “No,” and tugged the pillow away from him and tossed it on the floor. Jim whimpered, but then it didn’t matter because he was coming, and he didn’t care what he sounded like. Without the pillow to anchor him, he felt out of control, jerking into Blair’s hand, while Blair’s thrusts became sharp and quick, as he came in Jim’s ass.

They lay without moving for a long time, then Blair pulled out and rolled off Jim’s back. He moved away from Jim, onto his side, and it was Jim’s turn to say, “No.” He spooned up behind Blair, holding him tightly. “You love me, “ he said.

It took a minute for Blair to respond. “Yes,” he said in a small voice.

“And I love you,” Jim said. There was no answer. “I love you, Blair,” he repeated firmly.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I’ll try not-” but Blair rolled over and put his index finger over Jim’s lips.

“No promises you can’t keep.” Blair sounded tired.

“I’ll love you forever, then.” Jim kissed his finger.

Silence. “Okay.” And Blair finally smiled.


End file.
